


The Element of Light

by MagnusLightwoodAlecBane



Series: Ficletinstruments [4]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death, Week 7: Underwater Meeting, Young Magnus Bane, inspired by book canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-04 17:47:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20475080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagnusLightwoodAlecBane/pseuds/MagnusLightwoodAlecBane
Summary: What if Magnus felt just that tiny bit more guilty? What if he couldn’t find the strength to fight back?





	The Element of Light

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [sh_ficletinstruments](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/sh_ficletinstruments) collection. 

> **Prompt:**   
[Image Prompt](https://www.creativeboom.com/uploads/articles/b6/b6abda6748a37ac823a45488099a91d3eac994d1_1100.jpg)
> 
> Painting by Ian Rayer Smith.
> 
> Prompt: Underwater meeting. Week 7.

Magnus screamed as strong hands pushed him under. He didn’t call for help, more out of surprise and pain. The hands didn’t nearly hurt as much as the words had, though. “Je bent een gruwel. Je hebt verdomme je eigen moeder vermoord. Het is allemaal jouw schuld, kwelduivel.” He hadn’t expected it to happen like this, but he accepted it. He deserved this. Something hard hit his skull and Magnus was momentarily stunned. He stopped the struggle. 

The guilt ate away at his soul, wormed into his brain and settled there. Heavy, sticky, dark maggots of guilt. They slithered all around his mind to corrupt every single thought he had. They fed on the negative feelings they created and got stronger, multiplied. Guilty. It was all his fault.

The stories people had told him were wrong. There were only three elements. Water was all of them combined. It didn’t put out a fire, it started it. The cold scorched his muscles when he struggled to get out of its grasp. Flames licked at his lungs when they filled up. Water wasn’t soothing, water was pain. Magnus burned.

He kicked below him, but hit nothing, he tried grasping something, _ anything _ to hold on to. But again, nothing. He had no sense of direction, no way of knowing what was up or what was down. For a brief moment, he felt weightless, as if he was flying. His mind went hazy as the last bit of oxygen started to leave his body. He was breathing water now.

Then the pressure came. Pound after pound weighed on his chest as he sunk deeper towards the bottom. The water weighed down on him as if it was burying him ten feet under the ground. His head felt heavy. Inside, the worms ate the last of the memories until only one remained. Her delicate, warm, caring hands suddenly the bloody hands of a murderer. A murderer and a victim. It was all his fault. He killed her. His own mother was dead because of him and he was about to follow. 

Even underwater, Magnus felt the tears roll over his cheeks. Salty water mixed with fresh. His screams had long turned into bubbles rising to the surface. The cold enveloped his body in a blanket of numbness. His head felt as if his brain was trying to escape, pressing on his eyes, causing dark spots in his view until almost everything was dark. The water seeped into his ears, rendering him deaf. Magnus felt something caress his cheek. Slender fingers of a familiar hand.

He flexed every muscle he was capable of feeling and eventually found the right ones to open his eyes. She was beautiful. Her slim figure shone brightly against the dark water around her. She looked soft. Inviting. Magnus gazed into the molten chocolate eyes that were once so similar to his own. They were warm and loving. They were safe. Her lips curled into a smile to welcome Magnus home.

“Mama?”

**Author's Note:**

> “Je bent een gruwel. Je hebt verdomme je eigen moeder vermoord. Het is allemaal jouw schuld, kwelduivel.”  
Translation: "You're an abomination. You killed you own goddamn mother. This is all your fault, you demon."
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
